What’s Really Happening When People Keep In Touch With Exes


  • A survey indicated that close to half students document having connection with an ex.
  • Visitors got much more email should they had feelings when it comes down to ex, got friendly breakups, or were not within the separation.
  • When get in touch with happened considering that the ex got section of a more substantial pal class, individuals reported more pleasure employing current interactions.
  • Those who are disappointed in a swingingheaven free app unique partnership had been more prone to communicate with exes as a prospective back-up.

It really is relatively common for people to keep up connection with former passionate partners. 1,2 exactly what happens when your submit a unique union? Can you preserve exposure to an ex or slashed them ? Can it be bad for your partnership if the ex still is that you experienced? Normally concerns many of us can relate genuinely to, nonetheless they have not been evaluated much by partnership researchers-until lately.

In two researches, Lindsay Rodriguez and her peers surveyed teenagers in intimate connections to find out how many times they talk to exes, why they preserve get in touch with, and what that states regarding their present connection. 3 one learn surveyed 260 undergraduates, who was simply and their latest lover for around monthly along with a previous commitment that lasted at least three months.

They unearthed that about 40 % regarding the pupils kept in touch with an ex. When it comes to majority (over 90 %), this communications started within two months of the breakup and proceeded to take place one or more times every few months. Most people didn’t talk to their ex many times, but a small subgroup-13 percent-had exposure to exes many times per week.

Who is more prone to keep in touch with an ex? The greater number of major the standing from the recent connection (age.g., partnered or almost engaged vs. matchmaking), the unlikely players are getting exposure to an ex. However, proceeded communication with an ex got not related to how big the partnership making use of the ex was in fact. (this really is probably mainly because individuals happened to be reasonably younger, so that they would not have the same standard of investments that needs future get in touch with, such as for instance co-parenting, which can take place whenever more loyal connections split up.) Instead, it was their ideas about their ex and about the break up that expected communications: citizens were almost certainly going to correspond with exes they however had thoughts for. These people were also more prone to stay in touch with exes if they considered your breakup was extra positive-characterized by comprehending and too little mean and nasty behavior. At long last, individuals who reported that these people were maybe not throughout the separation happened to be much more likely than the others to keep up connection with their own ex.

Just what implications performs this posses for individuals’s recent connections? Generally, those who remained in contact with an ex had a tendency to become much less devoted to their particular current lover than others whom would not, but exposure to an ex wasn’t of exactly how satisfying they discovered their own current union.

In a moment research, the experts furthermore investigated exactly how connection with exes pertains to the caliber of the existing commitment by examining individuals good reasons for staying in touch. They interviewed 169 undergraduate pupils in relationships, whom said they communicated with an ex at least once every couple of weeks.

The reason why maintaining the idea of a reunion on back-burner might difficulty

Now, the team discover a link between connection with exes plus the top-notch current commitment: more repeated the connection with an ex, the considerably pleased individuals happened to be with regards to recent relationship.